Post Between Posts

The military is slowly but surely restriction our access to the outside world. To ALL of those who do not have my email address and are on my myspace, Amanda, Andrew, the rest of yall, contact me @:

broc_ariums2003@yahoo.com

Love you all.

About Me

I hate spiders, not that they do anything specifically to me I just don't like them. Oh and by the way, they always bring their friends. If you find one in your room and squish it. Keep looking. There are others.

I hate things that fly at my head.

I don't like having people know that I'm the one taking a shit on the toilet. I will wait until they leave the bathroom before I leave stall. I don't want them to know I was the one who had inflicted that damage on the toilet. Weird I know. But if you already know I'm going in there for that, like, I announce it to the world, no biggie. Heck, I may even warn you not to go in there.

I don't like being talked to while I'm on the toilet doin' da business. Please it's the only time I really get to myself can I have it in peace? I won't be long. I promise.

I despise flies. They are absolutely the most annoying insect god has ever created. Enough said.

I hate people who try to blame me for shit I didn't do. It's not my fault you are a fuck up. Look at someone else buddy.

I hate opening a cupboard door and bending down to pick something up, sitting up really fast and smacking the corner of the door on the top of your head. That really annoys me. I also hate running into shit, or hitting parts of your body on things that could have easily been avoided. I hate it even worst when it hurts real bad.

I hate it when I remind myself about a million times to not forget something very important. And then I reach my destination and have forgotten it.

I hate letting people down.

I don't like seeing people upset.

I dislike it when people sing karaoke. It's not the karaoke I hate. It when the same people pick the same song, week after week after week after week. Ok we've heard you sing this before. You aren't bad, lets grow and sing something else. Here, let me scary-oke you.

I think it's annoying when someone makes up stuff to tries to sound like they know what they are talking about. You aren't fooling anyone. Go away.

I hate complainers. It's ok to bitch and moan. But if it's all you do. Get a new hobby. You are acting like a 5 year old child not getting their way.

I like Avril Lavigne, Madonna, Christina Aguilera, and Justin Timberlake. Bite me.

I play RPGs. With a mechanical pencil, some paper, and all the funky-ass dice.

I love all music. If there were one thing I couldn't live without, that would be it.

I would like to learn to play the guitar, but practice makes perfect and I just don't devote enough of myself to it. I hate myself to that.

I like the rain.

I enjoy dancing in it, splashing in mud puddles, and having mud wrestling competitions. With girls.

I love winning, and despise loosing. Though I am not as much a poor loser as I used to be. If I know it gets on your nerves, I may become a poor winner. Sucker.

I'm a nerd.

If I have told you I love you, I meant it. I wouldn't say if I didn't mean it. It's the truth.

I'm hungry. Where's SGT A? I am going to go get him I think.

Die smiling

I have just finished watching what has just become my favorite movie of the moment. Stranger than Fiction. I laughed often, at different parts through out the movie. I had a gleeful smile on my face at the end. In my book it is one of those must sees. It's some one a part of me wishes I was. Harold Crick. Maybe I am mostly envious of the relationship he ended having with Ana. So see them lay there together and be so happy, just to hold one another. To know, he's not living much longer, and enjoying the here and the now, the moment he has. That's where I want to be. Even if I live another 50 years I would really want that to be how I feel most every day.

I had this dream the other day. I felt so out of body, and so very very real. I will try to explain, what little I remember, in as much detail so you can be there.

It was dark. And we stood together holding one another. Your head on my chest. I imagine you were listening to my heart. Every beat telling you exactly how I felt. I never needed to say anything to you. My hand runs through your hair on the back of your head like a comb. You tilt your head up and with a smile our lips connect. I can feel the warmth of your breath as you breath out through your nose on my upper lip as the sweet kisses ends and our lips depart mine.

That's all that I can remember. The most vivid thing was the warmth of your breath.

'Take me down to a paradise city where the sand is brown and the girls are...pretty?'

Another day gone by. A lot has happened in such a short day. The saying goes "the army does more by 6am then the rest of the world does by noon." I am starting to believe this.

Today I woke up at 6 and shaved, and at 6:30 went to eat. From 7-1200 we have been in briefings all day. A One star general came in and had a briefing with us. It was very informative. He only spoke for about an hour. Then came lunch and after words more briefing and the whole head of the operations in iraq, a 4 star spoke to us as well. Then more briefings, dinner, and now computer time.

Am I really getting paid for this?

"Woah" (mimicking Joey from Blossom)

It has been a crazy two nights. It's 7:44 PM on Wednesday May 8th. Two nights ago I could hardly sleep. The sound of .50 cal machine guns rang throughout the night. They sounded as though they were only a few blocks away although I am guess they were about 1000 meters. Somewhere between 3 and 5 AM a loud explosion rocked BIAP (Baghdad International Airport) where I was staying until I can get a flight to Taji. The explosion happened at just the right time. It was as if the insurgents knew right when I was about to fall asleep and decided to let one off. Strange as it was. The .50 cal fireing continued all morning and I finally passed out around 0600.

I was awoken sudenly about 0720 from a voice over a loud speaker. It was very mumbled to me but I thought I heard "there will be head count in 5 minutes at the mall". I thought, "at the mall? How come the Major that explained where everything was, never explained this. Somethiing must have really gone down" I see Cross over on his bunk with one head phone out of his ear listening to the same loud speaker.

"What did he say" I asked.
"I am not sure, I think we have to meet somewhere" he replied.

Shortly after, 3 very loud explosions go off very close to the tent. It seemed as though there were 3 blocks away.

Hastely I took out my electric razor and started shaving and dressing at the same time. Cross gathered some socks, put his boots on and gathered his weapons.

I put my ACU pants on and socks, and was thinking to myself "shit should I wear my kevlar?" As I buckle my belt I look up and I see Cross walking out with his kevlar.

"I'm going to poke my head out and see what's going on"

I strapped my boots on and ACU top. I buckle my 9 mil holster to my hip and Cross comes rushing back in.

"What's going on out there?" I asked.

"Nothing, everyone is walking around like nothing is going on"

WHAT THE FUCK? How could everyone be just walking around like nothing is going on? How can they just be moeseeing around like this? Cross and I then decided to go brush our teeth and see what was said.

As it turns out what was said over the loud speaker was "detonation will begin in 5 min". So where I got my intel from I have no clue. My guess is, they had found an IED outside of the gates and had it detonated.

Last night we boarded a Chinook for our flight from Baghdad to Taji. It was my first time and it was pretty damn exciting. We carried our luggage onto the chopper. You can barely breath from the amount of air being forced to the ground when we boarded from the rear. The flight was only about 20 minutes long but it is, so far, the coolest vehicle I have been in. We flew in complete black out and I noticed the piolots wearing some sort of NVG's. Suh-weet.

How real is it?

In an earlier post I had talked about waking up and realizing again where I was at. Every morning that is still happening. The realism of it all still seems to escape me. Even though I am here, and I can feel the heat, I go to sleep and dream of home, of people and wake up and think, "yeap, still here." I guess what I am saying is it doesn't feel real.

There were a couple incidences yesterday that brought me back to reality. Just walking from the PX to the MWR tent which is basically a rec. room, the heat baking me at 100 degrees, looking around seeing iraqi's, and Army, Navy, and Airforce all with weapons, a casualty collection point, wow I am really in Baghdad.

I heard a couple explosions off in the distance. The ground vibrated very little. Enough that you would feel it sitting down but if you were walking you would have missed it entirely. Shortly after , the power goes out and we find out 12 soldiers were killed by vehicle borne improvised explosive devices. VBIED's.

This is very real.

The Iraqi Challenge

Alot of people have been on my mind as of late. My son, Paula, Liz, Chris, Xavier, Fed and Steph. The list goes on and on but these are what seems to come and go the most. My son for obvious resons. Paula for reasons I cannot entirely explain right now. Those of you who know me and have know me for quite a while do understand. Liz is a true dear friend that I care lots about. Yeah she's a gimpy softball player but it's not 'entirely' her fault she broke her leg. It was dark out. Chris a true friend and the last person from Oregon I had spoken with before flying out. Weird how it wasn't any of my immediate family. Professor and Fed, to friends, or I should say family that I wish well, and care lots about. They are more family than my family will be. And Steph. Mainly because she's the mother of my child and people keep asking me what happened and how fucked up it was. Yeah it was but, I'm tons happier now.

On another note I want to talk about the bathrooms. I said it. Let me describe to you the experience.

Lets start with showers. You have a total of 15 gallons, they say, of water to shower. Which they call 'combat showers'. I have never done any type of combat in the showers, those some of the sexual experiences have been quite a battle. You must turn the water on, rinse, turn it off. Oh and mind you the shower are about 40 feet from the tent where we stay. Lather up. Turn the water on rinse, turn the water off. And your done. The water is barely potable, some people have gotten the runs, not from the showers but from brushing their teeth.

The toilets are a whole nother venture. The nearest toilet is about 70 feet from the tent and it's a porta-potty. Which are pretty gross. No grosser than the porta-potties you would seen anywhere else mind you, but the whole thought is disgusting. And the smell. That's for another blog. Majority of the porta-potties do not have toilet paper so in the even you are going 'number 2' you are announcing to the entire FOB what you are doing. Then there are what we call, the nice bathrooms. They smell like out house when you walk up to them, inside they reak of urinal mints and piss. But they have actual toilets. I wouldn't go as far as to say they have running water but you can crap in a bare toilet, flush it down a whole with little water and wash your hands. Probably the best thing about the porta-potties, if there is a best thing is the poetry and drawings on the wall. People getting desperate to "eat any pussy" or the crude drawings of tits and ass, which seem to be on the same side of the body. Last I knew they were on opposite sides. Strange these military folk. Though I'm willing to bet the drawing is from a marine.